Songs for 4 AM EP

by a glass box

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1.
03:32
2.
04:32
3.
05:45
4.
05:47

about

a glass box presents the semi-acoustic "songs for 4 AM" EP, a 20-minute exploration of entering a new era of life, reflecting on what has passed, and learning to fall asleep.
in the quiet dead of night, are we truly alone with ourselves or are we forever haunted by the maelstrom of everything that is happening and the people we used to be?

credits

released August 7, 2016

Delilah Luna (lyrics, music)

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about

a glass box New York, New York

my name is delilah luna and i'm a queer trans girl from boston (currently in NYC)

a glass box is an exploration of mental illness, trauma, queerness, the east coast, youth, and everything that life has given me and taken from me

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Track Name: Magnolia
There’s tiny lies in your eyes
But it doesn’t seem a surprise
To find out you were never mine all this time
Glaciers melt but spring won’t come
Where the hell did we go wrong?
Give me a chance to pretend that things are fine

Cut my skin and watch it bleed
There is nothing new I need
Love is such a finite thing, all will fall into place
With heavy sighs, we will die
What’s the point of even trying?
When I can’t breathe, don’t call an ambulance

But I’d watch you die
I’d watch you die
Please stay alive
And stay by my side

The truth is hollow, the truth is ice
The truth means nothing, as cold as night
But I just might drown in your smiling eyes
Maybe for once I’ll save myself
Instead of waiting for your help
I’d tell you that I can be alone, but that’s just another fucking lie

We’re just killing time
Just killing time
You were the love of my life
We just met at the wrong time
Track Name: Lilies
It was familiar to me to see your eyes every sunrise
And it’s finally been another year since you passed away
Remembrance is all that I can really give you
Without spending another night wasting all of my time

And I know that it’s been far too long
To wish I had another story to tell
Instead of the goddamn lonely heart that I carry with me
Until I finally realize it’s far too late

And I know it won’t be long
I know I don’t belong

And I can’t feel anything
When I know that you’d do everything you could do to stop me
To stop me from spending just one more night with you
To tell you all the secrets that I had left alone

It’s a familiar feeling to know that I have lost control
Over every single person that I’ve held dear
And yet I think to myself that maybe had I known
That I’d lose you for good then maybe I’d forgive myself
I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you drew your last breath
To hold you and tell you that I loved you before I loved myself
It’s the maelstrom of everything that’s happening around us
And the people that we used to be
Track Name: White Tulip
I used to think that everything was fucked up and lame
And I’d never forgive myself for what you did to me
I used to think that I’d get another chance to finally say
How much you messed me up when you finally got away
I’d find another way
To forget the empty days
Yeah, I’d find another way
To convince you to stay

Today, like any other day, was another waste of time
Yet I find myself thinking about how you never quite all right
Tonight you might unlock your cage to dig yourself out
Of the hole you keep your casket in for when its time to say good night
You’ll find another way
Through pills and razor blades
Yeah, you’ll find another way
To give up on the life you never had

Oh my god, is this the only way?
Yeah, oh my god, are you going to die today?

I used to think that everyone would one day go away
And now I know that’s true because I’ve seen it all decay
I used to think that I would die in a car beneath a lake
But now I’m scared to think that maybe I will never really change

I’d write another song about my fear of death and sleep
But it’d be just as vain as saying that I forgive you anyway
Yeah, I’ll drink every night and kill off all my brain cells
Maybe then I’ll stop thinking about how I will burn in this hell
But all you really gave me was your neglected youth
And your bipolar illness
I know you grew up broken inside but really
I’m barely out of those years myself

I’ll call in sick to watch TV and replay
All the suicide attempts alone in my brain
And maybe I’ll forgive you for all the things you never said
But maybe I’ll let it all go and forgive myself instead
Track Name: Foxglove
I can’t pretend that I can
Spend all of my time in relationships that bore me
I won’t pretend that I can
Still fall in love with anybody new

And I won’t agree that all I need
Is another day of therapy or a pill to make me clean
But I don’t know what will make me
Stop seeking all the harmful ways to control my head

And I can’t pretend that all I want
Is for someone to love me and not leave in the end
And I can’t pretend that all I need
Is validation, affirmation, empathy, and honesty

I’ll spend all of my days
Locked in a cage
With my heart still beating
My lungs still breathing
But I can’t protect you
From the darkness within me
It’s an empty sign, an empty sign,
An empty sign, an empty sign

But you’re still my favorite
Person to lie with
On quiet nights in playgrounds
That I grew up in
But I’ll slowly poison you
With all of my demons
I’ll arrest myself, arrest myself
Arrest myself, arrest myself

In cardiac arrest
And arrows in my chest
Dissociation, distance
Validation, exits
But you’re still my favorite
Person to lie to
With capital letters, with capital letters

And I’m so sorry
And I’m not sorry

You’re still my favorite
Person of all time
With capital letters, with capital letters